"Octomom Can Mess Up Those Kids' Lives if She Wants... She Better Leave My Relationship Alone..."

"Baby, I feel ignored..."

Immediately, my eyes shoot up from my computer and over to Nicole... "why do you feel like that?"

"I just do."

"But why?"

"You just seem more concerned about your computer than me. You're not showing me any attention."

It's at this point that I close my computer.

Throughout our relationship together, Nicole has constantly told me how much she needs attention... and I get it... for whatever reason, women (at least the ones I know) need to know how pretty they are (everyday), how much they're loved (every hour) and much they need your attention (every five minutes)... clearly, I don't understand why it's necessary for a relationship to work but I still do it... (NOTE: this can prove to be detrimental as some women go by this thing I call the Ten Percent Principle which means that no matter how much attention they're given, they always want ten percent more... this usually leads to an argument about how you don't care enough and involves them stomping off... if one doesn't speak up, then they assume that this behavior is prudent and will stomp off and complain everytime they don't get their way... also known as The "Give-Them-an-Inch, They-Take-a-Mile" Conundrum...)

But I'm digressing... for the past hour, Nicole has had us watching this special on Octomom, Nadya Suleman... frankly, this chick is bonkers... I knew that before watching this special on FOX but Nicole seemed like she really wanted to watch it, so we watched it... albeit, her more attentively than me... I spent a good part of the hour reading blogs and looking at Facebook... I would make comments about what was going on (which was nothing more than general nonsense from what I observed) which would stifle little more than a laugh or a "I know right..." outta Nicole and then I would go back to doing what I was doing...

About 45 minutes into this, Nicole is on the phone but starts complaining about her stomach hurting and like I always do, I go over and rub her stomach... after a few minutes, I get up to go to the bathroom and when I get back, she's changed positions, taking up every inch of the couch and looking at the ceiling... so it's at this point, that I go back to my computer... after the show goes off, I turn it to the Preview Channel so she can find something else to watch and continue reading blogs...

This is when I get the whole "baby, I feel ignored" comment... and I don't understand it... to me, ignoring someone is when they're talking to you and you pay them no attention like they're not even there... that's not what's going on here... she hasn't said anything and neither have I... however, knowing that she feels neglected, I close my laptop and try to make small talk... I ask about a friend of hers whose grandmother has been sick... nothing... I ask if said friend came into work today... all I get is a "Mm-mmm..." then I asked if she went by the neighborhood office of the townhouse we're trying to move into which garners another "mm-mmm..." and it's at this point that I'm getting frustrated... and usually when I get frustrated, I shut down... not to be a jerk but simply to keep from getting more and more frustrated which will lead to me getting angry... Nicole, however, looks at this as me not caring enough to try to fix the problem... so tonight, I try to do this... I tell her that I didn't realize she felt ignored and that it wasn't my intent... of course, this leads to more silence and then she tells me "it's not a big deal and I'm not mad... let's just drop it..." which in Nicole-speak means "It's a big fucking deal... I AM mad and if you drop it, I'm going to kill you..." I try to show her that I don't want her to feel that way but it falls on deaf ears... she's turned over and isn't paying me any attention but still feels the need to tell me "she's not mad..."

I tell her that the only reason I was on my computer was that I didn't really want to watch this Octomom special which causes her to bring up this past Monday... obviously, I'm a guy which means that Mondays to me are reserved for two things: wrestling and Monday Night Football (which is finally back, thank God) However, these two things are not things that Nicole finds interesting so usually, I just take the L and catch up on Saturday nights with wrestling (when they replay Monday Night RAW) However, she knows that I am a big Panthers fan and they were on MNF so she didn't protest when I was watching... I also flipped back and forth between that and wrestling and all the while, she made dinner... around 10:30, she started complaining about how much longer it would be on and I realized my time had expired but I was cool all the same... she'd let me watch it uninterrupted for almost three hours... I was good... not to mention she'd cooked as well so I wasn't going to complain much...

So at this point, I ask how that's the same thing and she shuts down again... if she's assuming that because in the time that we've known each other, she's let me watch wrestling without complaining just this once, that I'm supposed to watch every little thing she wants me to, then she's got another thing coming... this goes into Family Guy (another show, which she apparently used to like but doesn't now) and now I'm really lost...

Let it be known that I watch a million things that Nicole likes that I wouldn't otherwise watch... this includes The First 48, Hawthorne and Making His Band on MTV just to name a few... the difference is, I don't whine and complain about not being entertained... just as I didn't with this whole Octomom situation... I didn't need a documentary to tell me that chick was off, I've known ever since she popped out those kids... if she wanted to watch, that was fine but I don't see why I had to be forced to watch it... even still, I made an effort to be entertained and made conversation about it... yet, she feels that I'm ignoring her? I don't get it...

This, of course, leads to Nicole giving me the silent treatment for the rest of the night and for once, it genuinely bothered me... I tried again to start up a conversation and was shut down... it was at this point, that I just went into the kitchen and cleaning up in order to keep from going the fuck off... I figured it'd also be a peace offering as it was something else she wouldn't have to do... boy was I wrong...

After putting the last dish in it's proper place, she comes in angry talking about how I threw away a bag that had some money in it and how she had to dig through the trash for it... now, had I remembered doing this, I would have apologized... but since I didn't, I asked her what bag she was talking about... and besides, she's never put money in the bag before... it either goes straight to her wallet or in her pocket... but this one time she puts it in there, she expects me to look inside first? Once again, I'm simply lost as she mumbles a response and retreats upstairs...

It was at this point, that I just considered it a lost cause... because it's no longer about her being ignored... she just wants to be angry and if that's what she wants, then fine... I'm not going to rack my brain about it... I finish cleaning up and contemplate if it's worth going through this nonsense for the next hundred years... sometimes, I just can't win for losing...

I hate Octomom.