This past Thursday evening, girlfriends, wives, baby-mommas, fiancees and jump-offs across the world let out a collective sigh...
at 12:01 AM, Madden 10 was released for Xbox 360, Playstation 2 & Playstation 3...
Men all over the world rejoice every year when this game is released... I'm no exception... I have a love-hate relationship with Madden... I love to play but I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE to lose... I'm a sore loser and an even worse winner... I don't know what it is about Madden that turns men into such crazed idiots... and before the collective "it's just a game" rains out from every corner of the globe, let me say this:
"It is MORE than a game..."
Madden transcends games... checkers is a game... Madden is an EXPERIENCE... but anyway, let me move on because I'm getting off task... Nicole, being the amazing girlfriend that she is, purchased Madden 10 for me this year... at first, I thought it was insane... girlfriends everywhere loathe mid-August for the simple fact that they know they will have to succumb to dates being cancelled, boyfriends showing up late and just generally being ignored until sometime around October... so when Nicole purchased this game, I was surprised even though she had already told me she would do it... didn't she know what she was getting herself into? I am ADDICTED to Madden... why would she buy me something that's going to ultimately take time away from her? And Nicole is craves attention... buying this game is a direct conflict of everything she wants, needs and desires... it's the equivalent of loaning your boyfriend money to go to the strip club... LOL... this is an activity that is going to take up hours of his time and leave less time for you... but in any event, I couldn't be mad at her... even though she did have me out at the mall for hours on end...
The Worst of Times...
We'd been at the mall for at least two hours... it shouldn't have taken that long... no, seriously, it shouldn't... the best thing about Nicole is that she reminds me of my mother... the worst thing about Nicole is that she reminds me of my mother... my mother is the type of person who goes to Wal-mart for two things, gets inside, purchases those two things, fifteen other things and then looks around for another 30 minutes at other things she knows good and well, she's not going to buy... Nicole is the same way... it's something I've NEVER been able to figure out...
I'm not a fun person to shop with... why? Because I want to get in, get out... if I'm shopping for sneakers, it takes me maybe 15 minutes because a) I already have some semblance of what I want before I even step foot inside, b) if what I want isn't readily available, I have two or three back-up options and c) if said options aren't there either, I just fucking leave... my mom and Nicole would much rather look around and "see what else they have..." and this irks me to no end because most of the time, nothing is ever bought and it turns into a big waste of time...
So again, we're at the mall... she's there to get her nephews some sneakers and Madden... THAT'S IT... the first two stores we walk into have the sneakers she's looking for... bam... let's get the shoes, hit Gamestop and bounce... nah... it's not that simple... we go to every other shoe store in this mall (which I'm quite sure had close to 46 of them) just to do what? You guessed it... go right back to the same two stores we hit up in the first 15 minutes of our trip... now, I'm all for taking one for the team so it didn't even bother me... it is what it is... I understand that some women just like to be out and about at the mall doing God-knows-what...
The thing that got me irritated was when after all this walking around, we head into a FootAction (Store #2) to get her oldest nephew's shoes... a plain black pair of Nikes... on the strap is a little smudge... now me, I understand the importance of a spotless sneaker... GOD KNOWS I DO... however, I'm a grown-ass man... if I pay $150 for some sneakers, they damn well BETTER be spotless... these sneakers sold for $30 (or so we thought... more on that in a second...) and had one little smudge on the REMOVABLE strap... the way I see it, let's take the strap off, keep it moving... Nicole goes back and forth in her mind on whether to get it... the manager comes over and says "I can see it's a problem... I'll take 10% of the purchase..." sounds like a deal to me... it's only three bucks but fuck it, let's make a move...
Finally she consents, we go to the front, pay for the shoes and we're halfway out the door when it happens... IT FUCKING HAPPENS... she looks at the receipt... not only did the manager NOT take off the 10% but charged her $40 which is the correct price of the shoe... someone marked it wrong... this is what ended up fucking up my entire night... I say "it's not a big deal... we're talking ten bucks... let's just go... we're halfway out the door..." Nicole ponders it over in her head... says "no... I need her to pay the price that's on this tag..." At this point, I'm not irritated, I'm just ready to go... I feel like we've wasted enough time in this mall, why can't we just leave already? She says she wants to take care of it and I let out a sigh...
This is when she tells me to just go to the car since I already have the keys... since I'm already tired, I'm more than happy to oblige... so I say "aight, I'm going to the car" and I walk to the parking lot, let the windows down and take a seat... almost immediately, I feel my phone vibrate and pick it up... it's Nicole...
"Where are you?"
Surprised that she asked me this when we'd just had the conversation about where I was going, I just simply say "I'm in the car..." I wait a few seconds and hear nothing... "Hello?" There's no answer on the other end... I call back and get no answer...
My first thought is "awwwwwwwwwww shit... here we go..." She gets to the car and before she even says anything, I say "Hey I thought you heard me when I said I was going to the car... I wasn't trying to leave you..." to which she answers "Just give me my keys..."
I hand her her keys and immediately, I can tell she's pissed... she thinks I got mad and just left her... but she literally TOLD me to go to the car... and I replied back, I'm going to the car... so now she does what she usually does when she gets mad... she calls one of her friends and has this merry conversation... I mean, she just yuks it up... suddenly, everything is hilarious and she's in the best mood... meanwhile, I get the silent treatment, the nasty looks, the under-the-breath comments... of course she does this to get under my skin, but to be quite honest, it doesn't bother me in the least bit... it would bother me a hell of a lot more if we just sat in silence or I was trying to get her to talk to me and she ignored me... so in the midst of her carrying on this conversation with whoever she's talking to, I fall asleep... I hadn't slept in close to 29 hours and considering we'd just trekked all over the mall and she wasn't doing anything to keep me awake, I nodded off...
When I awoke we were at Food Lion... she was looking for her wallet and this is how I KNOW she's really pissed because whenever she's mad she has a fit of temporary blindness and can't seem to find anything even though it's in plain sight... I pick it up to hand it to her and she snatches it from me and then says under her breath "take your ass back to sleep..." and exits the vehicle... at this point, I do just that... I ho-hummed my ass back to Slumberland...
When she returns, I'm still sleepy but not asleep so I just keep my eyes closed until we get back home... once inside, I put the groceries away as she retreats upstairs to go to bed...
The Best of Times...
Upstairs, I try to talk to her... after such a tiring day, she's just as tired as me and she's half-awake, half-asleep but I figure it's better to talk it out now, then sleep on it and deal with it in the morning... that's how you get stabbed in your sleep...
HW: "Babe, I wasn't trying to leave you in the store... I thought you heard me when I said I was going to the car..."
Her: "I didn't hear you say anything... you just left me..."
HW: "I didn't JUST leave you... I went to the car like I said I was... it was YOUR suggestion that I go in the first place..."
Her: "If you were that sleepy, then you should've just stayed home..."
HW: "It's not like I was THAT sleepy, just ready to go... but I wasn't mad or anything... I thought you heard me when I said I was leaving... I wasn't trying to leave you in the store though..."
Her: "Ok..."
This "ok" is hard to read... I can't tell if she's still mad or if things are cool... I hop in the shower and decide that when I get out, I'll just lay down and see what happens... after a quick shower, I throw on some shorts and a tee and get in the bed... she moves over next to me and I put my arm around her... things are back to normal... *sweet slumber*
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