It's my fault for many reasons... for one, late last night while we were laying in bed, rather than providing her with late-night coitus damn-near guaranteed to make her fall asleep for hours or simply laying quiet until she drifted off to sleep, I wanted to talk about our future... I told her I was worried about my humility... some pillow talk huh?
People have always told me how humble I am... to me it's easy to be humble when you don't have shit and I've never had much... however, I know that I'm destined for amazingly abundant successes in the next few years and I worry if with that great success will come great humility... I worry that I'll become one of those snobbish people that I always see around... people that get a degree or a good job and all of a sudden, they're on some other shit that somehow disallows them the privilege of my company because I'm "not on their level..."
This simple thought led to a two-hour discussion on different aspects of our futures together... on the surface that's a great thing buuuuuuuuuut while I can sleep the day away (one more week of summer vacation FTMFW), Nicole has a job to go to in the morning... but sometimes, when things are on your mind, it's best to just get them out rather than let them fester...
It's also my fault because after she fell asleep around 3:30, I came downstairs to watch a little television and do some late-night reading... at 6:00 AM when I usually lumber upstairs to lay with her until she fully awakes at 6:45 to shower, get dressed and go to work, I stayed downstairs reading... it wasn't until 7:15 that I realized she hadn't gotten up yet... I raced up the stairs to inform her of the time and she jumped up and into the shower...
Afterwards, she came downstairs to finish getting dressed, all while catching a few segments of SportsCenter before a kiss and an "I love you" had her out the door...
These are the times when I love her the most... because I know of her attitude (she definitely has one... LOL) and my penchant for fucking up, it's always a moment of hesitation to correct a situation when I've fucked up... I know this is backwards ass thinking by some of you, as it's seemingly common sense to correct a situation as quickly as possible but I always think about the consequences and how I can get out of it unscathed... what if she gets mad? What if she starts talking about how I'm always fucking up? What if it just leads to a big yelling match about nothing? Do I really wanna deal with that? I could just fake it like I fell asleep downstairs and then she wouldn't have anyone to blame but herself...
Every couple has their differences but one of our biggest comes to our differing opinions on what's important and what's not... most times when I think something isn't worth getting all upset over, she feels it's necessary to go OVERBOARD with it... it's like we're always tugging at two ends... case in point... say we're trying to figure out what we want for dinner... I'm not a picky eater by any means... I could literally eat the same thing everyday for a week and it wouldn't phase me in the least... Nicole, however, can't stand to eat the same thing for two nights in a row... LEFTOVERS BE DAMNED... clearly variety matters to her... so whenever she asks what I want to eat, my response is usually "it really doesn't matter... I'm down for whatever..." let it be noted that when I say this, I GENUINELY and WHOLEHEARTEDLY mean it... I'm not doing this to appease a woman who wants what she wants when she wants it... I'm not doing this to be a yes-man... I'm doing it because I don't really have an opinion and whether she asks me or not, I know she's already decided in her head what she wants... however, my honest response will always lead to a discussion...
HW: "It doesn't matter babe... I'm down for whatever..."
Her: "Well, just throw something out there..."
HW: "What about Chinese?"
Her: "Nah, I'm not really feeling that..."
HW: "How about some fish and chicken from JJ's?"
Her: "Ehhh... I had chicken earlier in the week... don't really want that..."
HW: "Well, babe what do you want?"
Her: "I don't know... just pick something..."
HW: "How about KFC?"
Her: "Nah..."
It's at this point that I want to throw something at her... what is the point of this conversation...? clearly you want something in particular and I don't care, so why can't YOU just pick a place and let's go there? But I digress... I've clearly gotten off subject...
Back to this morning, I was more than pleasantly surprised at her demeanor... it could have easily steamrolled into me not being responsible enough to wake her up or how I was too busy caught up in my own world to give a damn about hers... instead, it was just a quick "oh shit, let me hurry up and get dressed..." No blame was passed (a TRULY rare occurence) and your boy HW was left alive to blog another day... it could be just because it's Friday or because she's getting off early today but because of her penchant to get an attitude quick (remind me to tell you all about a story involving laundry detergent, Wal-mart and two SLOOOOOOOOOOW-moving people... LOL) I always appreciate when she can take the calm route... plus she made it to work on time... all's well that ends well...
100.
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