This doesn't stem from some type of deep-seeded racial sentiment or some psuedo-political agenda about police brutality... I just feel like the police feel that they're above the law (and with the way the justice system seems to work most of the time, it appears that they are) and above respecting people and this is my problem with them...
Nicole has had some issues with cops lately (some of it her own fault) and because of these issues, it's making me hate them even more... the other night, we're coming back from Wal-mart... her family had come into town to help her move into our new townhouse and I wanted to make everybody breakfast in the morning...
We're driving down the street when we see the blue boys behind us... we weren't speeding... hadn't ran any red lights... to be honest, we were black people out at 2 AM in a car and that's really all you need for the police to pull you over... but I digress... so the dude pulls us over... Nicole asks what the problem is while handing over her ID and registration... the officer says "I'll tell you as soon as I see who I'm talking to..."
Evil Thought 1 = "Who does this dude think he is? I should get out this car and..." At this point, I'm already pissed because if this were any other dude, I'd knock his head off his shoulders for being so disrespectful to my woman... but since he's police (who seem to be very apt at shooting black people especially when it doesn't warrant it) what can I do? If I even say something in the wrong tone, he's liable to shoot all of us, say we resisted arrest and then get a medal of honor for taking down three criminals
After looking at her ID, he asks her where she lives... Evil Thought 2 = "YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE ID... why does she need to tell you address again? Do you think it's fake or something? I should get out this car and..." Finally he reveals that we missed a stop sign that we indeed DID NOT miss and proceeds to go back to his car... this entire time, I am SEETHING... not just because of how he's handling the situation but because I'm helpless... as her man, I should be able to be Superman... nothing should be able to get to her with me beside her because I should be able to effectively neutralize the situation whether it be some type of out-of-line male, nuclear holocaust or what have you...
Literally 20 minutes later, the dude comes back to the car and (you're gonna love this) when Nicole asks about the ticket, the dude says "It's all at the bottom of the ticket" and just walks off without even saying "drive safely" or "goodnight"... what happened to "Serve and Protect"? I guess the new line is "Shoot and Harrass..." Evil Thought 3 = "Yo, you're being WIIIILD disrespectful right now... we could all kill this dude right now and dump his body in the woods... nobody would know... I should get out this car and..." Nicole looks at it and it's a $180 ticket ($130 of it in court costs) Evil Thought 4 = "Really my dude? You're gonna not only pull us over, be disrespectful but you're also going to give us this ticket on a totally bogus charge? I should get out this car and..."
At this point, I have to make a decision: I can either be the angry black male, solving nothing and effectively getting my already-riled-up girlfriend even MORE riled up ORRRRR I can be the supportive boyfriend who tries to make her laugh, effectively ending her anger and keeping things from getting too hostile... I decided to be the latter... and I tried, I REALLY tried... but the ABM showed up a few times and it got to the point where she had to calm ME down... LOL...
There aren't many things that make me feel emasculated but this is one thing that always will, no matter how hard I try to not let it get to me... I know I don't have many male readers and I'm not sure that my females will really understand it (it's just one of those innate "guy things") and even though Nicole hasn't said anything to me about it, I can't help but feel like I let her down even though I'm not sure what I could have done differently... I'm just confused and frustrated, two things I don't ever care to be more than necessary... I don't have a moral to the story with this post, I'm just ranting... thanks for reading...
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