I've never cheated in my life... I've been INCREDIBLY close before but I haven't... and this isn't because I'm some type of moral superman who's simply above the temptations of having sex with someone I'm not in a relationship with... it's simply that, more often than not, I choose not to put myself into situations where something could pop off... I have a lot of female friends... some I've had sexual histories with, some I'm simply attracted to, some are just friends... but the facts are this: if I even have the smallest inkling that something could potentially happen, our friendship ends at text messages... even phone calls are a little too much in that type of situation...
This is especially the case with a friend of mine named Chaundra*... me and Chaundra met about a year ago back when I was on a "no-relationship" kick... we weren't sex buddies or anything like that... we did get a little "hands on" in one particular instance but that was really the extent of it... since she goes to school a few hours away, it was only natural that nothing would really develop from it... but we remained friends... we'd flirt and whatnot... maybe talk about our "hands on" experience...
Since then, we've only hung out once and there was so much sexual tension in the air, it was all I could do to keep from ripping her clothes off... this was all before I made it official with Nicole however... since I've made things official with her, I just don't feel right being around Chaundra... but she's intent on having me coming to visit her just to hang out and whatnot... but I just can't do it...
For one, that sexual tension is still there and probably always will be until something physical jumps off... secondly, if I were to go visit, with her being so far away and me being on a college student's budget, I'm pretty sure I'd end up spending the night instead of getting a hotel room... which means, I'd end up having sex with her... I mean, I don't want to put it so blunt but I'm just being honest... now, she's assured me that she wouldn't let that happen but let's be serious... you put two people in a room that are sexually attracted to each other with no way of getting caught, why wouldn't it pop off? Especially ones with a semi-sexual past? What could stop it?
So when I explained this to Chaundra, she made it seem like I was making too big a deal out of it... but am I? I'm thinking about my relationship here... I know my threshold when it comes to sex and honestly, I'm weak... LOL... I'm not afraid to admit it... I mean, it's one thing to cheat because you're selfish and want to fuck every girl in the world... it's quite another when you're trying to be faithful... now see, any other guy would take advantage of the situation and go smash this girl but I just don't want to put myself into a situation that I know I will end up regretting...
So now Chaundra's telling me I'm not a real friend because friends should be able to hang out with any problems... this is when my bullshit meter starts going off... that reverse psychology crap only works on 6-year-olds and naive people... see, she wants me to prove that our friendship is strong enough to make it through this thing and all that by coming up there to visit anyway but it's just dumb if you ask me... it's like if you're dieting and you keep cake in the refrigerator so you can try to prove how great your will power is... no matter, if you go three days, three weeks or six months without eating that cake, if you keep it in the refrigerator, you're going to eventually you're going to eat it (figuratively of course... nobody should be eating six month old cake...)
Not to mention... how am I going to explain to Nicole that I'm spending the night at some girl's house? LOL... you think she's having that shit? No siiiiiiiiirrrr... I just think it's better for everyone if I keep my dic--I mean, keep myself here where I am...
100.
*Names have been changed
